Schwarze Pumpe is one of those places, that look exactly like what one would imagine a very cool place in Berlin to look like. It’s dark, cosy and full of old wooden chairs, tables that don’t match, exposed brick walls, things hanging from the ceiling, and old bar stools made of heavy metal pipes. The interior design is composed of the kind of things you see on the street and fancy taking home, but never actually do. They all add up to a very nice, very Berlin-like atmosphere.
However, that’s where the magic ends. We came for a Sunday brunch. It was a buffet. Probably the cheapest in town: only 5 euro (hats off for that). Cheese, vegetables, eggs, sausages, hash browns – all the usual suspects. Nothing very special, nothing to write home about. It’s the service that cracked us, the service! We live in Berlin for a few years now, so we’ve grown accustomed not to expect much in that area, but despite all that – the service in Schwarze Pumpe was off the charts. And by that we mean: lost, and never to be found.
There was one waiters doing everything, or in fact, not doing anything. Since brunch was a buffet we needed only two things from her: coffee and the bill. It took us a very long time to get her attention and even longer to get what we asked for: coffee, and the bill. So if you have no money and lots of time, the Schwarze Pumpe brunch might be the thing for you.
Bottom line: Life’s too short to wait for the coffee, and bill
The plate test: Okish
SoundTrack: we didn’t notice
Service: no service. None
Price: cheap. 5 Euro for buffet brunch
Crowd: local, from the kiez
Choriner Str. 76, Berlin